I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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