my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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