1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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