watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Randomize