We won't sleep together?
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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