i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Floor bacon is actually really good
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
