oh god the rape fog is back!
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
