So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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