I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
