I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
