**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
