just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
