How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
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