Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Less talking, more tequila
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
