Is it because I queefed?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
