return my video game
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Randomize
