if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
