I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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