Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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