I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Come back. Shots need mouths.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize