She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
