I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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