we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Randomize
