I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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