So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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