doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
