Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
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