Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize