What a fucking waste of an outfit
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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