Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
