Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
