Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Randomize
