Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
