i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
