Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
