Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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