are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
