Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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