He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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