erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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