Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
