I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
