**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Randomize
