Where is the hickey?
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
farters have to be the big spoon...
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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