She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
