Just mADE A PArabola og urine
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
