I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
