I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
