So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Randomize
