awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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