i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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