So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
