Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
