writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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