I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Randomize
