Ambien. No doubt about it.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Randomize
