if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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