South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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