Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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