I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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