Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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