Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
