Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
