the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
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