I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Randomize
