I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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